truth

There is truth. There are lies. Sometimes I wonder how to tell the difference. Sometimes I wonder which things I accept as truth are lies in disguise.

Lately, I am struggling because I want to lay hold of something concrete in my mind. I want the answers. I’m sick of sitting with questions. I realize that I will never have it all figured out, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting that. I realize that once a human being makes up his mind about something, it becomes increasingly difficult to believe anything else. We read and watch and listen and look for proof that our own beliefs are the correct ones.

I want my mind to remain open to new ideas, yet I want stability of thought. I want to anchor myself in unalienable truths, to wrap myself in the comfort of absolutes. I want to see my world and touch it and feel that it is really there, that it won’t change on me once I turn away. But life doesn’t work like that.

Relationships change.
Presidents change.
Laws change.
Seasons change.
Diapers change.
I change.
You change.
God doesn’t change.

That last part seems a little out of sync, doesn’t it? But the bible says it and I believe it. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

I have been told to seek truth in the bible and I believe it lies there. God passed his story down to us and I keep looking to his story to try to understand life. Where I get murky is when I find it necessary to interpret what God is saying through the bible. Because it seems to me that there are a myriad of angles to this story. I am afraid I’ll see what I want to see, that my eyes will cloud over the truth in my efforts to maintain my secure structure of beliefs.

So I find it hard to land.

I find myself balancing between fluidity and fixedness. I am trying to embrace openness to new perspectives, ideas and truths while also grounding myself in promises and commandments, liberties and laws, proverbs and psalms. My roots are sinking deeper and my limbs are stretching higher...
at least, I hope so.