misconceptions

My friend Emily was once my nemesis.

In high school, we couldn’t stand each other. Most of Emily’s disdain for me was probably a direct result of my verbal assaults and contemptuous glares. Unfortunately for us, we were thrown together in numerous classes throughout our four years of high school agony. One particular memory is especially clear in mind…

Sitting in geometry class, I again found myself annoyed with my arch enemy, Emily, the girl who couldn’t spell paper but somehow managed to believe she would become the first female president. We loaded our verbal artillery and engaged in the crossfire of brutal words. The teacher broke it up. I am now ashamed of the way I treated my friend. But back then I was hurting and angry, dissatisfied with my life and longing for more, but unsure how to fill the gaping hole within me. Some bore the brunt of my wrath, Emily was one of those.

Some years after commencement ceremonies, as I traveled through undergraduate studies I found myself sharing an art class with my old nemesis. At this point in my life I was learning about God and had recently entered into a relationship with him. Granger Community Church introduced me to Jesus, and I was just beginning to discover spiritual truths and freedom from condemnation. It was wonderfully freeing, and it was exactly what I had always searched for. That gaping hole within me was being filled.

So I found myself regretting my harsh treatment of Emily, and faced with her again in a new classroom. She of course, noticed me too and both of us thought it ironic that we would meet again in this way. The art class met once a week for three hours each meeting. The classroom style was informal and we were encouraged to get to know our classmates. I think we both realized we would have to talk sometime.

Emily approached me first. She apologized for her behavior in high school. I apologized too. So we made up, and that was really all I desired. But something happened during that class. I got to know Emily, my new friend. We talked for hours while our hands crafted art. We talked about spirituality, relationships, struggles and victories. We became good friends. I was amazed that I could have once interpreted Emily’s heart so badly. My perception of her in high school was wrong. And as I engaged in relationship with her, relieved of my bitterness and preconceived notions, I found I really liked her.

My relationship with Jesus began with a similar realization. Growing up, my image of God was that of a foreboding taskmaster. A God very big and very far away, but a God that always looked down from his imperial palace in the heavens pointing out every evil thing I ever did. He was cold and uncaring and distant, at least that’s what I thought. As I grew older, I began to nurture a disdain for Christ and Christians. All my encounters with Christianity left me feeling empty. I wanted nothing to do with any of it. So my aversion to Christ solidified.

But something remarkable occurred the summer of 2002. Once again I encountered Jesus, but this time I saw him truly. And upon meeting him, I discovered that he was nothing like what I expected. My preconceived notions of Jesus were wrong. He was forgiving and welcoming and revolutionary. He wasn’t always shouting at me about how bad I was, I already knew that. He was telling me that I was really special, that I was of precious value to him, that he would lay down his life for me… that he loved me. When I met Jesus, I was expecting condemnation but what I received was grace. And that grace has made all the difference in my life.

John 1:17 For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

Eph. 2:1-10 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.