I feel like I’m stuck in Your maze right now. I’m looking for the way out, but I keep finding dead ends. So I turn around and go back the way I came and look for another corridor, hoping to find the neon exit sign. I spot a passage that leads somewhere new, so I start walking but pretty soon I see that it’s just an illusion ending in a mirror reflecting my own image at me. It’s not really a passageway at all, just a dead end in disguise.I take a look at myself in the mirror. I’ve seen this before, it’s just my image staring back at me. But there is something there nudging me, encouraging me to probe deeper, to look closer. Maybe the answer is there after all. Is the answer in self-reflection? Or do I think too much? Do I analyze and dissect the why’s and how’s of my behavior until my mind is too exhausted to find You? Maybe I need to find the mirror that reflects You.
You’ve got to be the way out, that’s all I can figure.
I know You are here in this maze. One of these passageways must lead to where You are. Or maybe they all do. Maybe I’m just missing You. Maybe You’re standing there and I breeze right by, absorbed in my own thoughts. Find me in the maze, Abba. I’m directionally challenged and unsure of the way.
So I’m stuck in this maze, but I’m not really stuck. I guess I’m growing in here. I must be learning something as I explore all these corridors.
I like to be an idealist, the dreamer I think everyone must love. The idealist sees how things could be and believes it is possible to transform reality. The idealist would have no problem with this maze. She would see beyond the maze, she would make a detour and escape it easily. But I’m not her right now, I’m the realist. A realist thinks practically, she methodically solves problems, her feet are firmly planted on the ground. The realist finds difficulty dreaming big dreams and talking about how things could be. She sees things how they are, right now. That’s her focus.
I don’t like being a realist. It’s my burlap sack, as Kristin would put it. It’s itchy and uncomfortable and I don’t want to wear it. But that’s where I am right now. The idealist soars above the maze, but the realist must find the way out.
Job 28:12 But where can wisdom be found? And where is the place of understanding?
4 comments:
maybe.... HE's in you...
and HE will lift you up out of the maze and let you fly away :)
"
You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
Who abide in His shadow for life,
Say to the Lord, "My Refuge,
My Rock in Whom I trust."
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
And famine will bring you no fear;
Under His Wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield.
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
You need not fear the terror of the night,
Nor the arrow that flies by day,
Though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come.
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
For to His angels He's given a command,
To guard you in all of your ways,
Upon their hands they will bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
And hold you in the palm of His Hand."
-On Eagles Wings
Written by Michael Joncas
Isaiah 40:31
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run,
and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint."
"You’ve got to be the way out, that’s all I can figure."
I love your honesty, your courage in allowing yourself to be vulnerable and not have all the answers, I love your heart for God. I'm so grateful to know you, to walk with you, to grow with you.
Love this honest prayer . . ."find me in the maze, Abba". Brought me back to that fun book "Who Moved my Cheese?" I know it sounds cheesy, but God tought me so much in that fun, little book. I'm so excited for what God will show you and how He will bless you in this burlap maze. Thanks for sharing it with us, so we can learn along with you and stop running into our own walls . . .
Great post...I've read this and the 2 after it following the thread of searching. Within the idealist and realist roles, how do these dual roles intersect: our propensity to play God and our reluctance to accept our humanity? I guess I'm not liking the idea of you having to choose between being an idealist or a realist. I think you'll need to bring characteristics of both. All good Sara...
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